CONNECTION PATTERN QUIZ RESULT PROFILE C
CHOOSING CHERISHING
Connection Pattern C: Choosing Connection
If your quiz results showed Choosing Connection as your primary pattern, you’re in the messy, courageous middle of transformation.
You’ve decided that connection matters enough to risk it - even though it still feels vulnerable, uncertain, and sometimes scary.
You’re not hiding behind walls anymore, but you’re also not fully comfortable yet.
You’re practicing. Stumbling sometimes. Getting back up. Trying again.
This is where growth happens. Not in the safe hiding, not in the effortless connected flowing - but right here in the awkward, wobbly middle where you’re learning to trust connection even when it’s unnerving.
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What This Pattern Looks Like
You might recognize yourself in these experiences:
- You want connection and you’re actively working toward it—but it still feels risky
- You have moments of genuine closeness, followed by fear or the urge to retreat
- You’re learning to be vulnerable, but it doesn’t come naturally yet
- You celebrate small wins (sharing something real, letting someone in) even as you notice the fear
- You wonder if you’re “doing it right” or if everyone else finds this easier
- You’re tired of being guarded, but opening up still takes conscious effort
Here’s the truth: You’re doing it exactly right.
Connection isn’t supposed to feel effortless when you’re learning it. The fact that you’re showing up, trying - that’s the whole work. You’re not behind. You’re exactly where transformation happens.
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What Gets in the Way
When you’re practicing connection, these challenges often show up:
Imposter syndrome: Feeling like you’re faking it, like “real” connected people don’t have to work this hard
Fear after vulnerability: You share something real, then panic about how it was received
Comparing yourself: Watching people who seem naturally good at connection and feeling inadequate
Old patterns resurfacing: Moments when your walls go back up and you wonder if you’ve made any progress
Exhaustion from the effort: It’s tiring to practice something that used to feel dangerous
The paradox: The discomfort you’re feeling is proof you’re growing. If it felt easy, you wouldn’t be stretching into new territory.
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A Story: Riley’s Risk
Riley had been working on being more open for about a year. Therapy helped. So did joining a book club where people actually talked about real things.
Riley was proud of the progress - sharing more in conversations, asking for help sometimes, even crying in front of a friend once (which felt huge).
Then one day, Riley completely shut down in a group discussion. Someone asked a vulnerable question, and Riley’s immediate response was deflection and changing the subject.
Walking to the car afterward, Riley felt crushed. I thought I was past this. I thought I’d changed. Why am I still doing this?
But Riley’s friend texted later:
“Hey, I noticed you seemed to pull back tonight. Just wanted to say—that’s okay. Growth isn’t linear. You’ve been so brave lately. One step back doesn’t erase all the steps forward. ❤️”
Riley reflected: Ok. I’m growing. A step backwards is part of growth.
The next week, Riley tried being more present and vulnerable again. It wasn’t easy but feeling connected with people in a real way was special.
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Another Story: Taylor’s Discovery
Taylor joined a Fireside Chat thinking, I’ll just listen. I won’t share here. I don’t know them well and I’m not ready.
But halfway through the discussion about belonging, something shifted. Someone else shared about feeling like they didn’t fit in anywhere - and Taylor realized: That’s exactly how I feel.
Before thinking too hard about it, Taylor spoke up: “I relate to that so much. I’ve spent my whole life feeling like I’m on the outside.”
The response was immediate - and kind.
People nodded. Someone said, “Me too.” Another person shared their own version of that feeling.
Taylor’s heart was pounding. But also… it felt good? When people open up - even people you don’t know super well - you see how much you have in common with them.
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What Helps People Move Forward
You’re already doing the hardest part: showing up and trying. to connect Here’s what supports that:
Normalizing the trial and error: Everyone learning connection feels awkward and uncertain. That doesn’t mean you’re failing - it means you’re on a learning curve.
Celebrating small wins as well as big ones: Every time you share something real, stay present in discomfort, or choose vulnerability—that’s progress. Notice it. Affirm yourself.
Community that understands: Being around others who are also practicing (not people who make it look effortless) reminds you that this is the work.
Permission to have difficult days: Some days you’ll retreat. Some days you’ll feel guarded again. That’s not regression - it’s part of the process.
Seeing that it’s working: Over time, you’ll notice connection feels slightly more and more natural. Walls are dropping and doors are opening in your relationships.
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Reflection Questions
Reflect on your journey so far:
- What made you decide to start practicing connection?
- What’s one moment recently when you chose vulnerability and it went okay?
- What does it feel like in your body when you’re being genuinely open?
- What old fear still shows up most often?
- Who in your life makes practicing connection feel a little safer?
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How The Cherish Mosaic Can Help
We create spaces where:
- Practicing is honored (you don’t have to be “good at” connection to belong)
- Wonky encounters are normal (we all have them)
- Progress is celebrated even when it’s messy
- You can be real about what’s hard - without judgment
- The awkward middle is exactly where we are - together
What we offer:
🔥 Monthly Fireside Chats (Free)
Exploring what helps us stay connected - with others who are growing too
📚 Book Clubs & Learning Spaces
Mattering by Jennifer Wallace will be offered in March - we learn and share our ideas together
🎨 Creative Learning Sessions (Coming in March)
Learning and connection through creative activities - connection happens naturally when we’re creating together
📖 Resource Library (More coming in Circle)
Articles, videos, practices that support your growth
💬 Circle Community (Coming Soon)
A welcoming space to learn and grow with people who cheer you on
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Next Steps
Join Next Fireside Chat → Practice showing up, listening, maybe sharing
Read Our Articles → Reflections on the courage of growth
Browse Our Website home page or header menu → See what else The Cherish Mosaic offers
Follow us on Instagram, Facebook and Substack
You belong here exactly as you are.
Welcome to The Cherish Mosaic.